Monday, September 14, 2009
Bearing False Witness a Real Offense
A small boy returned from Sunday School one morning and found his father reading the newspaper. He called to his father, "Daddy, Daddy, which is worse, to steal or to bear false witness?" The father raised his glasses and, looking over his newspaper, answered let's see, the Lord said, "Thou shalt not bear false witness." He also said, "Thou shalt not steal." What do you think about it, Sonny?" "Why, it's worse to bear false witness." "How do you make that out?" "Well, if I were to steal something from my neighbor and afterward be sorry for it, I could take back what I had stolen and ask forgiveness and thus make right what I have done, but if I were to bear false witness against my neighbor I might be ever so sorry afterwards, but I wouldn't be able to undo the wrong which I had done." An application of this principle is found in the poem entitled, "Scandal."
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Gossip: Satan’s Snare
Gene R. Cook, “Gossip: Satan’s Snare,” Tambuli, Sep 1981, 6
Solemnly, people began to gather outside the mission president’s office. Exchanging astonished glances, many could still not believe that they had been summoned to a church court. The officers of the court were full of love and understanding, but very serious in their investigation of the charges; those present could lose their membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The charge was not immorality or apostasy; they were accused of speaking evil of a neighbor.
A fine brother had been slandered by those gathered together that evening, accused of the serious charge of immorality. He was completely innocent, but the great damage that had been done by “those whom he counted as his friends” would not be easily repaired. Who could measure the near destruction of this good soul? Who could measure the impact on the branch, as its fellowship was eroded? And what about the effect on those nonmembers who also became involved? Who could ever undo the evil that had affected hundreds of lives?
It had happened so easily. It began with simple words like—
“Did you hear … ?”
“Sister Joan said …”
“I have heard that he told her …”
“I am not sure about this, but …”
“Mr. Sanchez’s cousin said that he thought …”
“I don’t want to say anything bad, but …”
“If you won’t repeat this, I guess I could tell you that …”
Sin has many tools, the saying goes, but a lie is the handle that fits them all. If you are one of those who think it permissible to tell small lies, you may soon find yourself unable to distinguish between small and big lies.
Those conducting the court turned to the Lord’s explicit instructions on the subject. Through Moses, he told the people: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people” (Lev. 19:16). The book of Proverbs describes the effects of evil speaking: “A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Prov. 18:7–8).
Some may think they build their self-esteem and gain the attention and respect of others by telling false tales, but they actually become Satan’s agents. The Book of Mormon records that before the coming of the Savior to the Americas, “Satan did stir them up to do iniquity continually; yea, he did go about spreading rumors and contentions upon all the face of the land, that he might harden the hearts of the people against that which was good and against that which should come” (Hel. 16:22).
Satan succeeded in hardening the hearts of the people, and some thirty years later, after the great destruction of the wicked, the prophet Nephi recorded that “the devil laugheth, and his angels rejoice, because of the slain … of my people” (3 Ne. 9:2).
Divine cautions to guard our words are no less emphasized in modern-day scripture. The Lord said to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “And see that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking” (D&C 20:54). “Thou shalt not speak evil of thy neighbor, nor do him any harm” (D&C 42:27). “Cease to contend one with another; cease to speak evil one to another” (D&C 136:23).
The Lord loves us and desires that we love one another. May we follow this further counsel given to the prophet Joseph Smith: “Therefore, strengthen your brethren in all your conversations” (D&C 108:7), and “Let your words tend to edify one another” (see D&C 136:24).
Let each of us be careful that we do not contribute in any way to what the prophet Enoch saw in a vision thousands of years ago, when he recorded: “And he beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced” (Moses 7:26).
May the continual cultivation of the Holy Spirit drive out evil thoughts and inappropriate words, so that spirituality will grow and prevail, for as we control our tongues we are able to control our whole beings.
Solemnly, people began to gather outside the mission president’s office. Exchanging astonished glances, many could still not believe that they had been summoned to a church court. The officers of the court were full of love and understanding, but very serious in their investigation of the charges; those present could lose their membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The charge was not immorality or apostasy; they were accused of speaking evil of a neighbor.
A fine brother had been slandered by those gathered together that evening, accused of the serious charge of immorality. He was completely innocent, but the great damage that had been done by “those whom he counted as his friends” would not be easily repaired. Who could measure the near destruction of this good soul? Who could measure the impact on the branch, as its fellowship was eroded? And what about the effect on those nonmembers who also became involved? Who could ever undo the evil that had affected hundreds of lives?
It had happened so easily. It began with simple words like—
“Did you hear … ?”
“Sister Joan said …”
“I have heard that he told her …”
“I am not sure about this, but …”
“Mr. Sanchez’s cousin said that he thought …”
“I don’t want to say anything bad, but …”
“If you won’t repeat this, I guess I could tell you that …”
Sin has many tools, the saying goes, but a lie is the handle that fits them all. If you are one of those who think it permissible to tell small lies, you may soon find yourself unable to distinguish between small and big lies.
Those conducting the court turned to the Lord’s explicit instructions on the subject. Through Moses, he told the people: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people” (Lev. 19:16). The book of Proverbs describes the effects of evil speaking: “A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Prov. 18:7–8).
Some may think they build their self-esteem and gain the attention and respect of others by telling false tales, but they actually become Satan’s agents. The Book of Mormon records that before the coming of the Savior to the Americas, “Satan did stir them up to do iniquity continually; yea, he did go about spreading rumors and contentions upon all the face of the land, that he might harden the hearts of the people against that which was good and against that which should come” (Hel. 16:22).
Satan succeeded in hardening the hearts of the people, and some thirty years later, after the great destruction of the wicked, the prophet Nephi recorded that “the devil laugheth, and his angels rejoice, because of the slain … of my people” (3 Ne. 9:2).
Divine cautions to guard our words are no less emphasized in modern-day scripture. The Lord said to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “And see that there is no iniquity in the church, neither hardness with each other, neither lying, backbiting, nor evil speaking” (D&C 20:54). “Thou shalt not speak evil of thy neighbor, nor do him any harm” (D&C 42:27). “Cease to contend one with another; cease to speak evil one to another” (D&C 136:23).
The Lord loves us and desires that we love one another. May we follow this further counsel given to the prophet Joseph Smith: “Therefore, strengthen your brethren in all your conversations” (D&C 108:7), and “Let your words tend to edify one another” (see D&C 136:24).
Let each of us be careful that we do not contribute in any way to what the prophet Enoch saw in a vision thousands of years ago, when he recorded: “And he beheld Satan; and he had a great chain in his hand, and it veiled the whole face of the earth with darkness; and he looked up and laughed, and his angels rejoiced” (Moses 7:26).
May the continual cultivation of the Holy Spirit drive out evil thoughts and inappropriate words, so that spirituality will grow and prevail, for as we control our tongues we are able to control our whole beings.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
GOSSIP: When words have the power to hurt
"The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human… But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. One edge is the misuse of the word, which creates a living hell. The other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love, and heaven on earth." Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A.
Not believing all the gossip we hear is one step. Not spreading the gossip we hear is another. Refraining from gossip can be difficult: gossip seems like such a natural part of human communication. I admit, myself, that while I try very hard to refrain from gossip - or at least attempt to say or repeat only positive things about people, rather than "spread more poison" -- there are times when I catch myself slipping up. Sometimes, we just do it naturally and unwittingly: "Oh, did you hear about so and so…?" Many times, we believe we are simply communicating "a truth," when in fact we are repeating an unsubstantiated rumor. Often, we don't mean to be hurtful, and we may not even realize we are saying something negative. But the poison is spread, the damage is done, and someone can end up feeling hurt.
I offer a few questions for us to keep in the back of our minds as we communicate with others. When you hear something negative about another person who is not present, you may want to ask yourself: Is what I am hearing substantiated and true? Might it be based on false assumptions or a miscommunication? Is the source of my information reliable? Might the person communicating (or THAT person's source) have some negative bias against the person being discussed? Is this MY experience of that person? Shouldn't I investigate this myself, rather than assume it is true?
Before you REPEAT what you have heard, or say anything (especially something negative) about another person, the most important thing to consider is: DOES THIS SERVE? You may want to ask yourself, honestly: Does it serve the person listening to know this information? Am I passing on useful information? Why do I need to repeat this? Am I simply fulfilling my own ego need to be "in the know"? Am I sure that this is true? Whether or not it is true, might I be hurting someone by spreading this information?
We must not forget the power of the word. We can misuse the word, or we can choose to use the word impeccably. My hope is that we, the human race, could learn to stop hurting one another and start creating more beauty and love with the word.
Not believing all the gossip we hear is one step. Not spreading the gossip we hear is another. Refraining from gossip can be difficult: gossip seems like such a natural part of human communication. I admit, myself, that while I try very hard to refrain from gossip - or at least attempt to say or repeat only positive things about people, rather than "spread more poison" -- there are times when I catch myself slipping up. Sometimes, we just do it naturally and unwittingly: "Oh, did you hear about so and so…?" Many times, we believe we are simply communicating "a truth," when in fact we are repeating an unsubstantiated rumor. Often, we don't mean to be hurtful, and we may not even realize we are saying something negative. But the poison is spread, the damage is done, and someone can end up feeling hurt.
I offer a few questions for us to keep in the back of our minds as we communicate with others. When you hear something negative about another person who is not present, you may want to ask yourself: Is what I am hearing substantiated and true? Might it be based on false assumptions or a miscommunication? Is the source of my information reliable? Might the person communicating (or THAT person's source) have some negative bias against the person being discussed? Is this MY experience of that person? Shouldn't I investigate this myself, rather than assume it is true?
Before you REPEAT what you have heard, or say anything (especially something negative) about another person, the most important thing to consider is: DOES THIS SERVE? You may want to ask yourself, honestly: Does it serve the person listening to know this information? Am I passing on useful information? Why do I need to repeat this? Am I simply fulfilling my own ego need to be "in the know"? Am I sure that this is true? Whether or not it is true, might I be hurting someone by spreading this information?
We must not forget the power of the word. We can misuse the word, or we can choose to use the word impeccably. My hope is that we, the human race, could learn to stop hurting one another and start creating more beauty and love with the word.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Wave to your neighbors with your whole hand
I have turned into a waver ever since I started driving at age 10 on a large farm in CA and decided that waving would be part of my value culture.
I wave at people I know, and people I don’t.
I wave at people the moment I sense I may catch their eye; I no longer look down or away.
I wave to trigger some magic connection to my face so I will smile within the same fraction of that moment I wave.
I wave to feel open, connected to hope, and expectant of our humanity.
I wave to feel safe. When I take my exercise runs and arrive at intersections, I don’t take another step forward unless I have waved to an approaching or stopped driver and am sure they have seen me. (They wave back, or at the very least will nod—good thing to teach your kids.)
All I can tell you for sure today, is that learning that humble wave changed my own life, because a habit was created in me that I chose not to break. I owe a lot to my Dad for making me a better person during those early years I worked with him on our farm in CA. My Dad was so true to his values, and he made them so compelling and desirable, that those values became part of mine. If I already had those values in any measure whatsoever, they grew and were strengthened and fortified.
Today, and I am quite sure forever to come, I rather wave to people instead of looking down or turning away. I prefer to be open to the possibility that waving can trigger. I love the thought that waving, and then allowing your hand to train your face so your smile will surely and naturally follow, is a way to tell someone you are humble enough to know this:
No matter how good I may feel about my own life at this very moment,
no matter how complete, whole and healthy I may feel,
I grant my trust that there is an equally good reason you live on this earth with me.
I am open and welcoming you can be to by a simply smile and wave thats all it takes!.
It needn’t be a major production, or even a conversation;
you can just smile and wave back.
Easy, quick, and smile-triggering natural.
Then, we both belong, as we share this moment, and enjoy peace.
I wave at people I know, and people I don’t.
I wave at people the moment I sense I may catch their eye; I no longer look down or away.
I wave to trigger some magic connection to my face so I will smile within the same fraction of that moment I wave.
I wave to feel open, connected to hope, and expectant of our humanity.
I wave to feel safe. When I take my exercise runs and arrive at intersections, I don’t take another step forward unless I have waved to an approaching or stopped driver and am sure they have seen me. (They wave back, or at the very least will nod—good thing to teach your kids.)
All I can tell you for sure today, is that learning that humble wave changed my own life, because a habit was created in me that I chose not to break. I owe a lot to my Dad for making me a better person during those early years I worked with him on our farm in CA. My Dad was so true to his values, and he made them so compelling and desirable, that those values became part of mine. If I already had those values in any measure whatsoever, they grew and were strengthened and fortified.
Today, and I am quite sure forever to come, I rather wave to people instead of looking down or turning away. I prefer to be open to the possibility that waving can trigger. I love the thought that waving, and then allowing your hand to train your face so your smile will surely and naturally follow, is a way to tell someone you are humble enough to know this:
No matter how good I may feel about my own life at this very moment,
no matter how complete, whole and healthy I may feel,
I grant my trust that there is an equally good reason you live on this earth with me.
I am open and welcoming you can be to by a simply smile and wave thats all it takes!.
It needn’t be a major production, or even a conversation;
you can just smile and wave back.
Easy, quick, and smile-triggering natural.
Then, we both belong, as we share this moment, and enjoy peace.
Introduce Yourself to New Neighbors
What if We Have Nothing in Common?
No problem. There's absolutely nothing wrong with just walking up to the front door, and introducing yourself. Let them know that you just moved in and where you moved from. If that still feels uncomfortable, then ask about garbage pick up or recycling centers in the neighborhood. Remember, while you think you might not have anything in common, you do: you live on the same street, in the same neighborhood. That's enough to start any conversation. The key to being a good neighbor is making sure that you do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
No problem. There's absolutely nothing wrong with just walking up to the front door, and introducing yourself. Let them know that you just moved in and where you moved from. If that still feels uncomfortable, then ask about garbage pick up or recycling centers in the neighborhood. Remember, while you think you might not have anything in common, you do: you live on the same street, in the same neighborhood. That's enough to start any conversation. The key to being a good neighbor is making sure that you do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause
How is it that you have become an Awesome Neighbor? We would also like to hear about what you like most about your neighbors. You can post awesome remarks (not disparaging) to AwesomeNeighbor.com
The opposite of an awesome neighbor is one participates in defamation of character.
Slander is defamatory spoken words that harm another person’s reputation. Slander is spoken aloud, as opposed to libel, which is defamation that is included in published words or pictures. Slander is clearly not an acceptable form of communication. In Junior High School some may have resorted to this kind of gossip and behavior. Now that we are adults capable of buying a home in Utah we are also capable and responsible for our communication. When we communicate lies, gossip or cause defamation of character to occur we have decided to get our excitement from attempting to defame others. From my experience people that participate in this kind of behavior have very, very low self esteem and spend much of their day engaged in unproductive activity.
We should be anxiously engaged in a good cause.
Respectfully,
Robert Bolar
The opposite of an awesome neighbor is one participates in defamation of character.
Slander is defamatory spoken words that harm another person’s reputation. Slander is spoken aloud, as opposed to libel, which is defamation that is included in published words or pictures. Slander is clearly not an acceptable form of communication. In Junior High School some may have resorted to this kind of gossip and behavior. Now that we are adults capable of buying a home in Utah we are also capable and responsible for our communication. When we communicate lies, gossip or cause defamation of character to occur we have decided to get our excitement from attempting to defame others. From my experience people that participate in this kind of behavior have very, very low self esteem and spend much of their day engaged in unproductive activity.
We should be anxiously engaged in a good cause.
Respectfully,
Robert Bolar
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Avoid Gossip, Backbiting and Spreading Unfounded Rumors
President Tanner outlines key actions that will help us receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost and the power to resist worldly ideas and temptations.
Do we live peaceably with our neighbors and avoid gossip and backbiting and spreading unfounded rumors? Do we truly love our neighbors as ourselves?
“If we can answer yes to these questions, then we will have on the whole armor of God, which will protect us from harm and preserve us from our enemies. … (in Conference Report, Apr. 1979, p. 65; or Ensign, May 1979, p. 46).
Do we live peaceably with our neighbors and avoid gossip and backbiting and spreading unfounded rumors? Do we truly love our neighbors as ourselves?
“If we can answer yes to these questions, then we will have on the whole armor of God, which will protect us from harm and preserve us from our enemies. … (in Conference Report, Apr. 1979, p. 65; or Ensign, May 1979, p. 46).
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