GOSSIP: When words have the power to hurt

"The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human… But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. One edge is the misuse of the word, which creates a living hell. The other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love, and heaven on earth." Leslie Karen Lobell, M.A.

Not believing all the gossip we hear is one step. Not spreading the gossip we hear is another. Refraining from gossip can be difficult: gossip seems like such a natural part of human communication. I admit, myself, that while I try very hard to refrain from gossip - or at least attempt to say or repeat only positive things about people, rather than "spread more poison" -- there are times when I catch myself slipping up. Sometimes, we just do it naturally and unwittingly: "Oh, did you hear about so and so…?" Many times, we believe we are simply communicating "a truth," when in fact we are repeating an unsubstantiated rumor. Often, we don't mean to be hurtful, and we may not even realize we are saying something negative. But the poison is spread, the damage is done, and someone can end up feeling hurt.

I offer a few questions for us to keep in the back of our minds as we communicate with others. When you hear something negative about another person who is not present, you may want to ask yourself: Is what I am hearing substantiated and true? Might it be based on false assumptions or a miscommunication? Is the source of my information reliable? Might the person communicating (or THAT person's source) have some negative bias against the person being discussed? Is this MY experience of that person? Shouldn't I investigate this myself, rather than assume it is true?

Before you REPEAT what you have heard, or say anything (especially something negative) about another person, the most important thing to consider is: DOES THIS SERVE? You may want to ask yourself, honestly: Does it serve the person listening to know this information? Am I passing on useful information? Why do I need to repeat this? Am I simply fulfilling my own ego need to be "in the know"? Am I sure that this is true? Whether or not it is true, might I be hurting someone by spreading this information?

We must not forget the power of the word. We can misuse the word, or we can choose to use the word impeccably. My hope is that we, the human race, could learn to stop hurting one another and start creating more beauty and love with the word.